Fifty Shades Of Harry's Strange Love Life
by yamiyugi23
Summary: Harry Potter is just a wizard looking for love and finding love in strange and unusual places. This is a collection of him find love or love find him in a very AU sort of way. Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for not for young young readers! You have been warned!
1. Holiday Confusion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The Pick-A-Card-Any-Card Challenge.**

 **Prompt: Pyramid, Enguard, Pansy VS Any Gryffindor.**

 **Holiday Confusion**

Harry stood frozen in place as his mind went blank, after being adopted by the Weasley's and going on his very first holiday to Egypt (to be introduced to one of his big brother's properly) Harry had thought that the craziness of his life had finally come to an end. He had never been more wrong in his life.

"Wow, you really do attract them, don't you Harry?" Bill asked good naturally as he gave the adult male Sphinx that was wrapped around Harry like a house cat. "When you said that you had met someone of interest in the Pyramid you were not joking were you?"

"Bill," Harry began only to correct himself when Bill gave him a pointed look. "Big brother...I did not come here to find myself in a situation like this!"

"Like what?!" Pansy yelled angrily as she pointed the tip of her sword at Harry. "Come on! Enguard!"

"A woman like her has a twisted mind indeed," the Sphinx purred out as it nuzzled Harry's waist while his long lion tail wrapped around Harry's legs possessively. "She is blind, she will not make it through the night even when the sun is shining down upon us."

"Stop ignoring me and give me back my lover!" Pansy demanded as she waved her sword at Harry in a threatening manner. "Potter, just because you have a fancy title does not mean that you can pinch other people's lovers for yourself!"

"But I did not pinch the Sphinx! You can have your lover back!" Harry shouted back as he nervously turned to look at his new, but shocked, parents. "Help...please, what can I do?"

"Happily become my mate," the Sphinx said with a happy purr, ignoring the glare that Harry quickly shot his way. "Age is a mere number, love is like time, close your open eyes to truly see."

"Stop encouraging that slimy Slytherin!" Ron shouted out angrily, finally able to break out of his shocked state. "You stupid cat why can you not see that my little brother is not interested in you? Why do you not just go back to your snake of a lover?"

"Maybe you should listen to my little brother?" Bill asked good naturally while ignoring Harry's complaint about being the same age as Ron. "Pansy really does seem to want you."

The Sphinx gave Bill a lazy look. "Need, want, have, love, hate, so different but so similar. This Sphinx does not take orders but does as he wants. I am staying with my beloved mate and I am not moving."

"Okay..." Bill said slowly as he gave Harry and Pansy a helpless shrug of his shoulders. "Why not create a threesome or share your Sphinx lover between you both? Maybe take turns."

"Bill!" Molly finally gasped out in shock, she pointed angrily in her new son's direction who was currently bright red. "Enough is enough! Harry has only just turned thirteen years old! He is too young for this!"

"If this is how my love life is going to begin then I dread to think what it might turn into as I grow older," Harry muttered to himself only for the Sphinx to hear him. "I am too young for this."

"If this Sphinx's mate wishes I can wait for time to pass until you reach your majority," the Sphinx said as it gave Harry another loving but gentle head but to his side. "This Sphinx will be at your side no matter how many passing of waxing moons pass in the sky."

"But you are mine! Daddy brought you for me! Not a stupid Gryffindor," Pansy yelled out angrily, only to be ignored by the Sphinx. "You are supposed to help me keep my blood line pure and strong-"

"By damaging this powerful one's blood line? I think not," the Sphinx said with a shake of his head. "This Sphinx knows what is right and what is not and what is in between. You are in the defiantly not right pile of trash."

 **End of Drabble.**

 **I hope you liked the first one of this collection. Just to repeat the warnings at the start of the chapter and in the summary of this collection these are not for young young readers, hence the rating, other than that I hope you enjoy this crazziness!**


	2. The Undeads Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The Pick-A-Card-Any-Card Challenge, The Disney-A-Thon Challenge, The Pottermore Challenge.**

 **Prompt: Rose, Write a Dobby/Winky fic, Trailer Parks, Write about an archnemisis, Write about a magical creature (House Elves).**

 **The Undeads Love**

Harry let out a depressed sigh as he allowed his two House Elf friends to gently prop his body up against Hagrid's hut. As he tilted his head backwards to look up at the sky the familiar smell of a strong rose filled his senses along with the familiar sound of scissors being used to cut thread.

"You know, this is not how I thought I would deal with my magical inheritance," Harry said with a sigh only to give a weak smile as he felt a small hand gently pat him on the ankle in a reassuring manner. "Thank you guys, without the two of you to help me I do not know what sort of situation I would be in right now."

"Dobby is happy to help Master Harry Potter whenever he needs it!" Dobby's happy voice said causing Harry to chuckle slightly. "It is thanks to Master Harry Potter sir that Dobby and his Winky was finally able to mate!"

"Dobby!" Winky's voice said, Harry could just hear the embarrassment in her voice. "Do not say such things! You are making Winky blush! And Winky knows that Master Zombie does not want to hear of such things while we stitch him up!"

"Oh I do not know about that Winky," Harry said with a chuckle only to wince in pain as he felt the small but strong House Elf push his right arm into place and position it, allowing Dobby to jump onto his chest and begin sowing his arm back onto his body properly. "It would be nice to hear about someone's successful love life, you know where mine is going."

"Master Zombie must not talk like that! Winky just knows that Master Zombie will get his Snaky demonie one day!" Winky said determinedly as she watched her mate quickly and skilfully reattach Harry's arm. "Snaky demonie does not know what he is missing out on. Calling a mate an archnemisis is not right!"

"Does Master Harry Potter sir like _that_ kind of play?" Dobby asked innocently as he finished stitching Harry's arm, ignoring the sputtering shock that fell from Harry's lips. "Does Master Harry Potter like being a Zombie because-"

"Dobby!" both Harry and Winky yelled out as they turned bright red.

"Dobby is just saying," Dobby said innocently as he cut off the thread and used his House Elf magic to help him rethread the needle with a new piece of thread, ready for Harry's next limb. "Dobby is just wondering because of how many times Winky and Dobby has had to sow Master Harry Potter sir back together."

"It is not like that, you perverted House Elf," Harry answered as he did his best to fight down his blush. "Sounds like you need time alone with your new wife. It is not my fault that trouble finds me, and why won't the two of you just accept that my mate has rejected me? Maybe I can find one of those Muggle Trailer Parks that Hermione told me about once I finish Hogwarts to live at, sounds like a perfect place for a Zombie to live."

"Because Winky knows how bone headed males can be!" Winky said hotly as she shot a glare at her confused mate. "Master Zombie, you should not give up. Master Zombie will get his mate, one way or another. Even if Winky has to hit Master Zombie's Snaky mate demaonie over the head!"

"Thank you Winky," Harry said with a chuckle, with the two House Elves about the sky always did seem to be more brighter. "You two always know to say what I need to hear...now while you reattach the rest of my limbs to my body tell me about where you plan to go on your Honeymoon."

 **End of Drabble.**


	3. Strengthen the Bond

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The Disney-A-Thon Challenge, The Pottermore Challenge, The LIFE Game Challenge, The All Those HP Character's Challenge.**

 **Prompt: Help, Write about Rubeus Hagrid, Streaming Tears, Write about a fearful event that turns out to be a misunderstanding, Book Bag, Poppies, Hopeless, Cold.**

 **Strengthen the Bond**

"Do you know how to stop it Hagrid?" Madam Promfrey asked gently as she ran the sample of Hagrid's milk though several tests. "I am properly not a lot of help in situations like these but I do know that with human mother's as long as there is a demand than their bodies will continue to produce the milk."

"It is similar with us Giant's and Half-Giant's," Hagrid said gruffly, his accent coating his words heavily he gently wiped away the last of his milk off of his nipple and a tiny bit that had dripped down his chest. "If it is needed our milk will come, but the strange thing is that our bodies will only produce milk if it is needed...and a lot has to be met before that happens."

"Well can you think of anything at all that might fit into this set of strict rules?" Madam Promfrey as unsurely as she eyed the Care of Magical Creatures Professor's chest in a professional manner. "Maybe a potion might help?"

"Thanks for the offer but with my luck it would be totally hopeless," Hagrid said as he reached out and grabbed his large top. "I rather not chance having any potions that has poppies in them if I can."

"That has been put down on your record Hagrid so you do not need to worry about that," Madam Promfrey said as she watched Hagrid get dress. "At least come back to me if there is any change or you think of something."

"Will do Madam, I know not to mess around with my health," Hagrid answered as he finished dressing only to let out a sigh of relief as he slowly began to feel less cold. "I will also keep a sharp eye out for anything that might explain it too."

Madam Promfrey frowned as she stared at her newest patient several weeks later. Harry Potter sat in the middle of the hospital bed, which looked like a double bed thanks to his small size, and curled up into a tight ball. His book bag lay forgotten on the chair next to the bed as he battled against the bad case of the flu that he had.

"I wonder..." Madam Promfrey thought as she watched the streaming tears pour down Harry's face as he pulled yet another muscle from coughing. 'Harry is in need of a lot of things to help him...and Hagrid did say that his milk has similar vitamins and healing properties to it as a human mother's breast milk has...maybe...it might be strange but it just might work.'

With her mind made up Madam Promfrey turned and marched determinedly out of her domain. She had a half giant to find and quickly.

"You want me to what?!" Hagrid all but shouted out in shock as he stared at the Medi-witch that stood in his hut's doorway.

"I want you to feed Mr. Potter, or at least give it a go," Madam Promfrey repeated yet again as she gave Hagrid a pointed look. "Your milk could give Mr. Potter everything he needs but does not have thanks to those relatives of his."

"But what if he says no? What if it does not help? What if it makes things worse?" Hagrid asked worriedly as he thought of his precious small friend who meant so much to him. "I do not want to lose him as a friend or hurt him in some way!"

"You won't, if all of this turns pear shaped then you can blame it on me," Madam Promfrey replied calmly, not allowing Hagrid's panic to get the best of her. "Now then, are you willing to do this or not?"

Harry had never felt so small in his life before as he found himself curled up in Hagrid's large but protective arms like a new born child. The warmth and safety that just seemed to radiate from the half-giant forced Harry's fears about just what was going to happen to the edge.

"I...errr...know that this is not the right time or anything," Hagrid began nervously as he finished settling into a comfortable position. "But before anything else happens I just want to say...you remember that school book you left behind and when you came back you were relieved that I did not see or notice it?"

Harry nodded his head slowly, never taking his green eyes away from Hagrid's beetle like ones.

"Well...I sorted of lied..." Hagrid said, his face going bright red. "I did and...and I feel the same way..."

"Really?" Harry asked as hope rose up inside of him, at Hagrid's honest nod a small but relieved smile broke out on his face. "I am glad, I was worried...and you had been avoiding me...and with what is going on..."

"Do not worry my little one," Hagrid said as he blurted out his pet name for the smaller male only to find himself enjoying the blush that covered Harry's checks. "How about you just relax and enjoy your meal, you'll need it to help you grow big and strong, then afterwards we can talk about a few things."

"O-Okay," Harry said nervously as he lowered his eyes downwards to one of Hagrid's wet nipples. "Are you sure it is okay for me to..."

"I am sure little one," Hagrid replied calmly as he lifted Harry up slightly so that Harry could reach his nipples easier. "Remember, we both agreed to giving this at least one shot."

With a small nervous nod of his head Harry leaned forwards and latched onto the dusty pink nipple Hagrid was offering him. A few seconds later a soft moan came from Harry as Hagrid's sweet milk filled his mouth.

 **End of Drabble.**


	4. Love By The Lakeside

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The Disney-A-Thon Challenge, The New Year's Resolution Millionaire Challenge, The Pottermore Challenge, The All Those HP Character's Challenge, The Journey Though Hogwarts Challenge.**

 **Prompt: Girl, Choir Boys, Write about family jealousy, Underage Non-Con, Write about George Weasley,** **Write a romance fic that takes place at night, Shooting Stars, Sleepless, Heights, Write about someone being cautious, Loyal, Kind, Yellow, Black.**

 **Love By The Lakeside**

"Finally, some peace and quiet," Harry said softly as he sat on the edge of the Great Lake and looked out at the lazing Giant Squid and playing Merepeople. "With it being close to the summer holidays it has become too hot."

With a happy smile Harry looked out into the endless black sky that had brought with it a sleepless night. The soft sounds of leaves crunching came from the Forbidden Forest while leaving Harry's imagination to run wild as he looked for shooting stars. After a few minutes of looking for the beautiful yellow lights Harry lowered his gaze to lower heights and double checked the safety of the area around him before allowing his body to fully relax once again.

'It is so good to be able to take off the Glamour, even if it is not all of it' Harry thought with a smile as he fiddled with the wet hem of his jumper and allowed his magical creature side out and slowly transform his legs into a long dolphin like tail. 'Much better, it feels so wonderful to be able to feel the water against my tail for once.'

Without thinking Harry allowed himself to fall backwards, allowing himself to lie on his back and look up at the night sky while his tail lazily floated about and enjoyed the water. The stress of the day slowly disappeared from his small frame, taking with it the anxiety and worry.

'I wonder if there are any differences between a girl Nix and a male Nix like myself...' Harry thought as he listened to the sound of the Merepeople playing in the water. Even though it was late at night he was not going to stop being cautious. 'Maybe I can ask Hagrid or I can-'

A loud sudden squeal filled the air, the high pitch reminding Harry of the Choir Boys he had once heard when his aunt had forced him to attend Church one Sunday. As the high pitched squeal faded the sound of footsteps on the wet grass covered ground came to Harry's ears.

'Shit, what is going on?' Harry though in fear and worry as he quickly sat up and prepared himself to transform his tail only to freeze as a pair of familiar arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"Harry! My beautiful Harry!" the voice of George Weasley cried out happily, with a hint of love sickness to his tone. "Where have you been my beautiful!"

"Me? Beautiful?" Harry asked as he frantically tried his best to escape George's grasp. "George, you know how I feel about people seeing my tail!"

"But my beautiful, kind, loyal Nix! Your tail is part of your beautiful body!" Fred suddenly said as another pair of arms wrapped themselves around Harry's waist. "We all liked it, I love the way your tail sparkles in the sun and how it makes you look so exotic."

"Guys, stop it!" Harry shouted out in protest only to let out a surprised cry as he found himself suddenly being pulled out of the Twin's arms by a pair of muscular arms. "What? I do not know what is going on but put me down!"

"Do not be like that Harry, " came the familiar voice of Charlie Weasley which caused Harry to freeze. "I am saving you from the evil twins, my precious m-"

"He is mine and ours!" Both Twins suddenly protested, Harry could feel the sharp glare Charlie was giving his brothers over his head. "Harry is ours!"

"No he is not, he is mine and that is final," Charlie said as he tried to get a better grasp on the wet tail wiggling Harry. "Besides you two do not even know how to look after the most basic of magical creatures, let alone an amazingly beautiful and powerful Nix like Harry!"

Harry let out a heavy sigh as he listened to the twins and Charlie's argument. It seemed that he was going nowhere fast, or not without at least one or two of the Weasley's attached to his lips. As he scanned his surroundings Harry quickly realised that the only way he would be able to escape from the Weasley's was to get out of Charlie's grasp, fully transform into his Nix form and slip into the water. Though from the tight possessive hold the Dragon Tamer had on him Harry dubouted the fact that he could get out of his grasp.

"Give Harry to me!" Bill suddenly said as he joined his brothers in the moon light argument making Harry groan. "He belongs to me!"

"I do not belong to anyone!" Harry objected only to let out a sigh of relief as Mrs. Weasley's voice suddenly boomed over them loudly.

"Boys, you let go of poor Harry right now, you are properly scaring him to death!" Molly yelled out as she marched over to the Great Lake and stood besides Charlie and Harry. "Charlie, give me Harry right now!"

"NO! I won't!" Charlie replied as he hugged Harry to his chest as if Harry was a stuff toy. "Do not try that act on me! I know a lot better than to believe what you are saying!"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, his confusion growing as the rest of the Weasley family appeared and gathered around him. "And have you all somehow been tricked into drinking a love potion? Or have you had a spell put on you?"

"Oh Harry my dear," Molly gushed out as she somehow, with a hidden strength that Harry did not know about, pulled him out of Charlie's arms and into her own. "We have always loved you! From the very first time we saw you on the train platform we knew that you belonged to us!"

"Yeah, mum is right Harry," Bill said as he reached around his brother's and ruffled Harry's hair good naturally. "Every summer, every moment that you are with us we have been waiting for you to pick one of us."

"Pick one of you?" Harry asked in confusion, he had given up his attempts at freedom the moment Mrs. Weasley had taken him in her arms as he knew it was impossible to escape from her hugs and hold. "Whatever do you mean?"

"You have caused a lot of family jealousy amongst us my dear one but we have done our best to wait for you to be ready," Arthur said kindly as he leant over and placed a loving kiss on Harry's left check. "We do not want this love over you to break up our family, or hurt you...and you are and always will be a part of our family."

"Yeah mate, our precious Nix," Ron said with one of his large grins making Harry blush lightly. "Which is why we have been taking this at your pace for."

Harry frowned. "My pace?"

"Yes, it is common knowledge that a Nix will not and cannot mate against its will. It is one of the more intelligent and interesting bits of information about the Nix," Percy said with a look on his face that made Harry feel as if he was some sort of specimen under a scientist's microscope. "We really want and need for you to decide _Harrison_ which one of us Weasley's you will belong to. No matter though, I know you will reason and pick me. Just think about all of the _fun_ we could have exploring and learning everything we can about Nix."

'This was not how I thought that my relaxing night by the lake would turn out' Harry thought with a heavy sigh as he tilted his head upwards and looked at the black night sky that was littered with thousands of millions of beautiful silver shining stars. 'I wish I could be a star, I bet that they do not have anyone trying to get into their underwear.'

"So, which one of us is it going to be?" George asked as he gently took one of Harry's hands into his own. "If you want, and if you really cannot chose, Fred and I do not mind sharing. Right Fred?"

"Right George," Fred replied, Harry could just hear the lustful intentions and thoughts in his voice, as if someone had fitted several jigsaw puzzle pieces into place in Fred's mind at his twin brother's words. "We will have to get a large bed if all three of us are going to be sleeping together though."

"Now just wait a darn minute, Harry has not told us who he wants out of us!" Molly said with a sharp look at her twin sons. "I bet that Harry must want someone with a bit more...experience, I bet that if Harry would like a threesome then he can have one with Arthur and I."

"A wonderful idea, light of my life," Arthur said with a twinkle in his eyes as he looked from Harry to his wife then back to Harry. "And thanks to our _experience_ I know of several very interesting things and spells and potions that we can do and use in the bedroom and-"

"Dad!" Ginny suddenly shouted causing Harry to freeze. "Shut up, I do not want to have nightmares after listening to you and mum go on about your sex life! Now put Harry down and go away for a few minutes so I can talk to Harry without you lot pressuring him and explain a few things."

"Nice plan little sis but we all know better than that," Bill said as he gave Ginny a pointed look. "We all know that you have had a crush on Harry for the longest time, you were practically raised on stories about him being the mighty hero in shining armour. How do we know that you will not use the few minutes to molest him or make him fall in love with you?"

"M-Mrs. Weasley!" Harry squeaked out as he went deadly pale, one of Mrs. Weasley's hand's had suddenly began to _wander_ over his body, but mainly his fish tail half. "W-what are you doing?"

"Making you relax but making sure you are aware enough to know just who you want," Mrs. Weasley said happily before planting a kiss on Harry's check, a few seconds later Arthur placed another kiss on Harry's other check. "I hope that Ginny helps you to chose one of us dear."

"Mum! How can you trust Ginny with Harry?" Ron asked as he eyed the young Nix hungrily. "She might-"

"Two words Ron!" Ginny snapped out, her temper was growing short. "Luna Lovegood."

Ginny and Harry waited as the rest of the Weasley's looked over her with a critical eye, as if they were almost weighing up the odds. After what seemed like hours, but really was only a few seconds, Harry felt the arms around him slowly begin to loosen.

"Fine, but I do not want you disappearing on us with him or else we will tell your girlfriend that you have cheated on her with Harry," Molly said as she gave her daughter a pointed look. "You better not move from the spot your standing at missy."

"Yes mum," Ginny said dryly as she rolled her eyes making Harry smile. She waited for a few minutes as her family made their way a good few feet away from them before she turned back to Harry who had been placed on the ground next to the lake by Mrs. Weasley. "Right...Harry, if I was you then I would use this chance to make a break for it."

"Huh?" Harry asked in confusion only for it to suddenly hit him. "Oh! You mean I can, you are-"

"Yes, and as I promised my mother I cannot move from this spot so I cannot stop you," Ginny said giving Harry a pointed look. "If I was you I'd stay underwater for a few days, tomorrow and the day after everyone but Ron and I have to leave because of work and so it should be safer for you then."

"Thank you Ginny, if you need a place to hide out then you are welcome at Number 12," Harry said as he slowly inched towards the Great Lake's edge while being careful not to alert the watching Weasley's. "I think that I am going to spend the next few days searching for my mate...I think they might be living in the Great Lake or close by."

"You need to pick one of them Harry, all of them do really love you in their own way," Ginny said loudly as she threw her family off with the comment, now they would not suspect her of aiding Harry in his escape. "Now...get out of here and I will see you in a few days when it is safe."

With a nod of his head and without a single glance at the other Weasley's Harry quickly and skilfully turned and jumped into the Great Lake while transforming into his full Nix form at the same time. As he did so Harry ignored the angry, shocked and surprised shouts from the Weasley's and Ginny's innocent answers. After all of this mess was over Harry knew that he owed Ginny and Luna a big thank you present.

 **End of One Shot.**


	5. Monster Under The Stairs

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The Disney-A-Thon Challenge, The Pottermore Challenge, The All Those HP Character's Challenge, The Journey Though Hogwarts Challenge, The School of Prompts Challenge.**

 **Prompt: Monster Under The Stairs Lover/?Harry, Panic, Proximity, write about Horace Slughorn, over 500 words,** **Petunia Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Dudley Dursley, Number Four Privet Drive, Ordinary, Cat, Car, Vernon Dursley, Write a fic about someone who is prejudiced, in any sense, Languid.**

 **Monster Under The Stairs**

"Why did I ever decide to return to the Dursely's for the last few months instead of staying at Hogwarts?" Harry muttered to himself as he curled up in his cupboard under the stairs with all of his belongings. "Oh wait, I did not want to put up with Horace Slughorn and his stupid fame grabbing ways."

Hearing the heavy footsteps of his uncle walking close by Harry quickly fell silent. The angry and prejudice words fell from Vernon Dursley's lips followed and linked by the words proximity, ordinary, cat and for some reason car. Shifting his position so he could lie down more comfortably Harry allowed his mind to wander over everything that had happened to him since he had returned to Number Four Privet Drive.

'I wonder why Aunt Petunia was in such a panic when I first arrived the other day' Harry thought with a confused frown as his body slowly turned languid. 'From what little time I have spent outside of my cupboard everything seems to be going perfect for them, Dudley has even made it onto his school boxing team...what could of gotten them so nervous...'

After a few more minutes of thought Harry soon found himself slowly drifting off onto a different trail of thought. After all, whatever was bothering the Dursley's so much was defiantly none of Harry's concern, they had made that quiet clear the moment he had walked into the house.

"I still have to wonder just what is going on," Harry said softly to himself as he turned to grab his potions text book in an attempt to start the school reading early only to freeze in shock and surprise as his eyes instead landed on a strange and frightening looking creature. "Err...I am guessing that you are what has the Dursely's so...errr...acting like they are?"

Harry watched with unsure eyes as the strange being happily nodded its head. Even though he had seen many different and strange sights during his time in the Wizarding World, especially with Hagrid's so called pets, he had never seen or met anyone quiet like the character he was now. The person who came closest was Voldemort and that was only because of the being extremely like snakes.

The creature had a face that was nothing like a human's, instead it was more long and rounded, as if it was a mix between a dog's face and a duck's face. A tiny forked tongue came out of its pale pink area of which Harry guessed was the mouth, smelling the air like a snake would, showing Harry tiny teeth. It's large white oval eyes with simple black dots had mess short black hair lying over them, only as Harry looked closer he found there to be a large amount of small spiders running about in the hair.

"It is a pleasure to finally be able to talk to you in person," the strange creature hissed out as it raised its hand, Harry quickly found himself staring at the hand which had five banded kraits snakes as fingers instead of normal fingers, and placed it on his large and powerful black fur/feathered covered body and gave a polite small bow. "I am known as The Monster Under The Stairs, but my true name is Leopoldo, but you my beloved and very sexy mate can call me Leo."

"WHAT!" Harry yelled out in shock as he scrambled backwards, the best he could, as he stared at 'Leo' with wide shocked eyes. "M-My mate? Me?!"

"Of course~ And let me tell you that I know of some very interesting ways to make our fun in the bedroom even more fun!" Leopoldo said as he wiggled his two thin black eyebrows suggestively. "Personally, I can't wait but I am willing to go as slowly as you want to, my mate."

 **End of One Shot.**


	6. Love Struck Lobster

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The Disney-A-Thon Challenge, The Pottermore Challenge, The All Those HP Character's Challenge, The Journey Though Hogwarts Challenge, The New Year's Resolution Challenge, The Pick-A-Card-Any-Card Challenge, The Pokémon Journey Challenge.**

 **Prompt: Lobster-Monster-Bellatrix/Harry, Lobster, Psychological, Write about a murder, Write about something happening that is completely out of the ordinary, Write about Tonks, Write about someone on the receiving end of a curse, hex, or jinx, stammer, afraid, and defence, Major Character Death, Bellatrix Kills Tonks, write about someone delivering a message.**

 **Love Struck Lobster**

"NO!" Harry shouted out as he watched Tonks' fall to the ground, her now lifeless body falling to the ground with a dull thud. "Y-you killed h-h-her! You killed her!"

"Of course I did, and with this interesting new curse that I learnt especially for my dear cousin," Bellatrix said happily, ignore the stammer in Harry's words. "But it was only in defence, I only did what I had to. I did not mean to make you afraid of little old me."

"Afraid of you?" Harry asked as he looked at Bellatrix as if she was insane. "I am not afraid of you! Your insane! You have to have some sort of psychological disorder to kill your relative."

Harry watched in shock as a shimmer of magic appeared around Bellatrix as the dark witch allowed the glamour around her to slowly fall. As she let out what Harry guessed must be a girlish giggle, but failed and sounded more insane, Harry found his mouth dropping open in shock. When the dark witch had dropped the glamour she was wearing for some strange reason never in his wildest dreams had Harry ever thought Bellatrix was hiding her none human body parts.

While most of her body was still a human Bellatrix had the red hard 'coat' of a lobster for a back. One of her hands was now a claw leaving her with one lobster claw and one normal human hand, on her head was two antennas twitching slightly. As Bellatrix gave him what Harry thought was supposed to be a suggestive and smouldering look he found himself taking a step backwards from the Lobster-Bellatrix.

"You are mine! All mine!" Bellatrix said as she waved her now claw hand about threateningly. "You belong to me and no one else, you are my mate."

"W-what?" Harry asked in shock as he quickly shook his head several times. "No, no, no, how can we be mates? You HATE me, you have been trying to kill me since we first met!"

"No I have not," Bellatrix said with a huff as her face turned red to match her lobster shell colour. "Those are just failed attempts to start courting you, but now you finally know I can begin!"

Harry let out a low groan, he could not help but to wonder just what he had gotten himself into this time. Taking a deep breath and pulling himself together Harry opened his mouth to reply only for a popping sound and a very familiar House Elf to appear in between Harry and Bellatrix.

"Winky brings great news!" Winky said happily as she waved an important looking piece of paper about, the female House Elf had found employment with the Goblin run back thanks to Harry and Dobby. "Great Mister Harry Potter sir, Winky has happy news for you! Mister Goblins say to Winky to tell you that they found Harry Potter's mate! Winky is to deliver the message!"

"Oh...really?" Harry asked as he nervously looked between Bellatrix and Winky. "W-Who is it Winky?"

Winky gave both Harry and Bellatrix a large happy and excited smile. "Why Winky is happy to tell Lady Bellatrix, half lobster half human, is mate to Great Mister Harry Potter! Happy days is here for happy couple!"

 **End of One Shot.**


	7. Ghostly Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.**

 **Warnings: Smut, Strange pairings, Human/Magical Creature, None Human Harry, Yaoi/Slash, Adult Context, Multiple Kinks and Even More. This is a collection for ADULTS! You have been warned!**

 **Written for: Fifty Shades of...Challenge, Diversity AU Challenge, As Much As You Can Challenge, If You Dare...Continued Challenge, The All Those HP Character's Challenge, The Journey Though Hogwarts Challenge, The New Year's Resolution Challenge, The Prompt Relay Challenge.**

 **Prompt: GhostHarry, Tacos, That's Absurd, Write about Salazar Slytherin, Write about one of the Founders, ghost, dull, close to 200 words length, Founder's Era, Founder's Era.**

 **Ghostly Love**

"I was only trying to meet up with Ron and Hermione for Taco's," Harry muttered to himself as his ghostly form floated besides a very much alive Salazar Slytherin. "If someone had told me this morning that after getting hit with a weird spell that only left me with a dull ache that I would find myself in the Founder's time I would of told them that's absurd."

"While I am not familiar with that term my dear ghost you have nothing to fear," Salazar said as he gave Harry a polite bow."I will be your wizard in shining armour, court you and make sure you soon find yourself back as a human and in my arms."

"Thank you, but I am not quite sure how to take that. No one else has ever said anything like that to me and truly meant it," Harry replied as he turned to look away from the charming wizard, he was suddenly glad he was now a ghost as Salazar could not see him blushing. "I hope that I do not make too much trouble for you...and you are quiet the gentleman."

Salazar beamed proudly. "Thank you my dear ghost, and you do not need worry. For you I would happily do anything! If you must think of me wanting to hold you in my arms and have my lips on your alive human ones a selfish desire of mine."

 **End of One Shot.**


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